“She said Yes… Now What?”

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So, you have gotten the “Yes”. You are nervous, anxious, or confident in your ability to show this romantic interest the date of a lifetime. But, it may be in order to acquire some advice on how to have the best kind of fun imaginable with this seemingly intense meeting of the partners. In this passage, I share some of these tricks and pointers in order to have a memorable date.

The first step in any fantastic date is to form a plan. This may seem… redundant to say, but nevertheless is a good starting point to place thought and effort into this excursion you are about to undergo. To have a ‘baller date’, you must understand your date. Place yourself into their perspective. What is it they might prefer for this kind of date? What are the expectations placed upon the experience? If it is a date that holds little to no formality, and is simply the act of hanging out, a nice clean bar would suffice; a warm ambience that promotes comfort. Is your date more formal, or perhaps more luxurious? It might behoove you in order to create a reservation at a local fine dining environment, or luncheon.

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The essence of the date is in order to establish how compatible and enjoyable is each others’ company. But would you enjoy time with someone who merely places masks upon themselves to make them more appealing? When the masks stack one upon the other, again and yet again, what is left under the pressure in the true face of that individual? It is not the responsibility of your date to perfectly understand you, peeling off the mask, nor is it your responsibility in order to put on a performance for your prospective partner. This is the second step: be honest with them. Set your expectations, and be true to your own character. A relationship upon a foundation of pretend is no relationship at all. Besides, it becomes increasingly difficult to enjoy yourself when yourself is coping with a performance on top of the date.

The third step: to be adaptable. In the words of Helmuth von Moltke the Elder, “no plan of operation extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force”. Your date, or perhaps yourself, may find yourself not enjoying the date, or perhaps an event occuring like rude service or the other. Keep the mind open, aware, and ready to change plans in scenarios such as this, or to bring about the enjoyment in an awkward scene. After all, the determining factor in the success of a date is how much each party involved are willing to relax and live in the moment. You control what you take from the date, so don’t let a random roll of the dice determine your night.

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Dates are a wonderful means of determining romantic possibilities between individuals. There will be suboptimal ones, resplendent others, and perhaps it may be ages before a relationship can be formed. But nevertheless, persevere, and enjoy yourself. The secret to a baller date? It’s all in how you pursue it.

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