Chronicles of Harmony 

The care and feeding of Polywogs and Why my children will need therapy as adults.

Today is 8mg Methotrexate day, and it’s the junior prom of my eldest child and my bonus daughter, his girlfriend of 2 years. None of the members of our polycule ever got the romanticized “traditional prom experience,” thus, collaborating with BD’s mom, we have been jumping through hoops and living vicariously through our kiddos with the excitement and innocence of this epic experience.

Its been so interesting watching these two awkwardly try to find fun in trying on expensive dresses and looking at limousines, neither of which actually matter to our kids. Both of them would have been fine to go in clothes they already have and really just wanted to have dinner and Uber over.  Funny how we all have been working too hard at making the experience perfect, that we failed to realize, that their vision of perfect was based on the values we raised them with and not the idea of prom that we had been feeling like we missed out on all these years.

For these kids, it’s all about their quality time together. They are excited to go have sushi, see some friends and come home to put on lounge clothes and watch a movie. The two of them have been so great about humoring all of us and I think they are amused at watching their parents being completely dorky about the entire situation. At the same time, they have saved their siblings from the torture of our projection, as I know moving forward that we will ask the kids what they want for their experience and enjoy watching each of them be different. What is
really satisfying about this portion of the journey, is that we all worked
hard, together as a village, to create the space where our children not only have the freedom to make the choice for their experiences but that we all, as a team, are able to offer them the experiences they desire which I suppose is the goal of many parents.

Now for the part that is the reason why our children will need lifelong therapy.

Earlier this week, we received notification that there was an “alternative” non-school sponsored prom going on this very same evening at a venue that is walking distance from our downtown townhome. Last night, while having a gurl pedicure night with BD and her mom, she told us all about it. The school-sponsored prom is being heavily monitored and there will be security. This is of course due to
the epidemic of school violence currently plaguing this culture. But,
apparently a gaggle of students collectively fundraised and are having a
student-sponsored event at a venue with less supervision, drugs, sex, and that certainly not what we want our kids doing on prom night.

We asked our kids, why did you choose to go to the school prom vs. the other prom. Again, both kids separately told us, why would we want to be at a place where we would not have any fun? We want to enjoy our time together then come home and snuggle watching a movie. We would also probably spend the whole night taking care of someone else.

How is it that “WE” raised such boring and well-put-together kids? It has been a joy to watch. Now, in the midst of all this healthy family stuff, we developed a fun plan to wear go pro cameras, dress the prom part, and crash the alternative prom. We wonder, will it be this, epic event we all hope it will be.

Let me tell you, this plan was so epic, that it was made to be the next blockbuster summer comedy starring people like Jennifer McCarthy, Bill Hader, Jason Momoa, Gal Gadot, Lesley Jones, and a few others which we are still in debate. Melissa McCarthy is a total must because we were totally bringing in this friend of ours who is a total Doppelganger for her and of course. In fact, I had planned to send an emergency text to all The Turtles, my kinkster event planners, and as many of the prom parents as I could. The x generation parents crashing the alternative prom of the i-generation. We had visions of Tom Hanks’s Bachelor
Party Movie meets Animal House but with a twist of Sons of Anarchy. I mean we had people willing to wear their furry costumes, leather pony regalia, and a St. Andrew’s cross. Our goal was to turn the alternative prom into something that liked a Folsom Street event during pride week.

Then the sun went down, and we got all caught up in a new Netflix Series. We finally concluded that everyone attending that event that we were not facilitating are probably minors and we decided that was just an expensive and embarrassing legal event waiting to happen. So, instead, we became the lame geeky parents that we are and hacked on the couch while we continued our Netflix series. We also bought tickets to Blockers with our close friends in order to live the experience vicariously through Hollywood., exactly where it belongs when you are over 40.

 

Written by HarmonyUsInc

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Dr. Harmony is one of the country’s leading Clinical Sexologists. She brings her unique blend of skills and education specializing in Kink Culture and Sexuality, Relationship Counseling, Sex Positive Therapy, Traumatology, and Holistic Psychotherapy. Through her own personal experiences and her unique insights, she has forged an extraordinarily successful methodology designed to give you direction and keep you focused on your goals. Let Dr. Harmony teach you how to face trauma and transform it into triumph.